Revelations
by ringanybells
Summary: Before everyone scatters to the winds at the end of their freshman year at Hearst, they all meet up at the beach. Things become a little uncomfortable when someone suggets playing a game, but things can never be unsaid. LoVe


_(A/N) : This is just a warning. This story is very unfair to both Parker and Piz. I apologize, but I don't like either of them. I am a very big believer in LoVe, and I do believe it will find a way. So please excuse their slightly out of character attitudes._

She wasn't sure how they'd all been talked into this. But here they were, the entire group sitting around a bon fire on the beach. Her eyes moved around the group. Wallace was leaving in two days for Africa, he'd wanted one last hoorah. He had invited the original group out here to celebrate the summer, and to say his goodbyes. Parker and Mac were next to him. Parker was leaving for home in the morning, she too had wanted a chance to say goodbye. Of course, she'd been less then thrilled when she heard Veronica would be in attendance. Whatever Mac had said though, had convinced her to come. Mac would be the only one here staying in Neptune. She'd declined her parents offer to go camping, opting instead for an empty house. Veronica herself had wanted to skip this little outing, but Wallace had asked her. And she owed him enough that she could give him this, at least it had seemed a small thing before they'd arrived at the beach to find Dick and Logan.

Dick had started the party long before the large group had stumbled upon him, and it seemed like Logan had been strictly moral support. Until his eyes had landed on her, or Parker, or the group in general. He'd downed the beer in his hand.

Then there was Piz, who had been holding her hand when they first spied Logan and Dick. Now, he looked a little uncomfortable, that could have something to do with the two uninvited guests and it could be because of how the evening had progressed.

Dick had offered the group beer. Wallace had accepted on behalf of them all, begging with his eyes that everyone allow this to be a chill evening. Wallace had come a long way in befriending Logan this year, especially after what Logan had done to Mercer and to Gory. He'd even forgiven him for beating Piz up, after Logan had explained to him about the tape and his justification for what he did. Wallace might not totally understand the Logan-Veronica dynamic, but he understood the two of them had their own set of rules. And if he was honest with himself, had he seen the tape first, he would have done the same thing.

Everyone lined up at the keg, except Veronica, who instead hung back. While everyone was preoccupied with trying to help Dick distribute the beer, Logan slipped up next to Veronica.

"You guys might wanna split," There was no malice in his voice, and as he said it, he extended his hand toward Veronica. In it was an unopened can of diet coke.

"Your words say scram, but you actions say 'please join us.' I thought we were passed the mixed signals." She accepted the can, and listened to the reassuring hiss as she popped it. Logan knew her well.

"You're all more then welcome to stay. In fact, its probably better that he has someone to help finish the booze. But today is one of _those _days so it's not gonna be a fun night. So, if you guys were celebrating or something, away might be better."

"Not a fun night? With Dick? Is that even possible?" Veronica quickly ran through the stockpile of information in her head. Logan's tone implied that this date was somehow significant. It was the same tone he used when referring to Oct. 3rd, or the day his mother died, or one of the Kane's birthdays. What would signify Logan using that tone for Dick? Then it clicked. Today was June first. A year ago on this day, five of the kids on this beach had been handed diplomas from Neptune High. A year ago tonight, four of the people on this beach had had their lives changed at the Neptune Grand. "Maybe you're right. If we left, would you be okay with him?"

A soft chuckle escaped Logan's lips. "Please, Ronnie. Besides, it's not like I can turn my back on him, not today. And I won't leave him alone. Not when I was the one…" he trailed off, unable to finish the sentence, to even look her in the eye.

But Veronica didn't need him too. "Hey, you had nothing to do with it. If it's anyone's _fault,_ it's mine." His eyes snapped to hers. "I was on that roof too. I'm the one who called him out. But it doesn't matter. You're right, it wouldn't be fair to leave him alone. And it isn't fair that you should have to handle him alone. We'll stay, let's just keep the topic away from high school, I don't think Mac remembers what today is either. And it wouldn't be fair to remind her."

The two of them stood there for another second, just thinking. Veronica knew Logan felt at least semi-responsible for Cassidy, she'd tried to explain to him that that was pointless. She on the other hand, was not the least bit guilty. As harsh as it may sound, she felt they were even. All the harm he'd done, and he'd been allowed to take the coward's way out. Veronica couldn't bring herself to hate the younger Casablancas, but she sure as hell didn't forgive him either. It was a situation both she and Logan had come to terms with. Logan felt guilty for all the times he'd made fun of Cassidy, but Cassidy had crossed the line with his actions. Because of this conflict, Logan didn't hate the boy, but he wasn't quite as indifferent to him as Veronica was. But they could both admit, the death of Cassidy Casablancas had been globally unfair to his older brother, and even Veronica empathized with Dick because of it.

Wallace glanced over and saw the sometimes couple standing together, apart from the group, with somber expressions on their faces. He wished that either of them could see the truth. It didn't matter if they were having a screaming match or discussing dinner plans, the two of them always managed to stand just so. Just so meaning that the observer, mainly Wallace and Mac, could tell the two of them _were_ in love. Logan was always turned slightly to the side, offering Veronica the dominant position, which Wallace knew his friend needed. And Veronica always stood just under Logan, so that she had to look up to meet his eyes, it was the only way she could allow herself to show vulnerability, and she only did it with Logan. He wished the two of them would stop fighting the inevitable, but couldn't bring himself to interfere. Veronica wasn't ready to admit she needed Logan, and Logan hadn't grown up enough to know when fighting wasn't the answer. But Wallace knew it was only a matter of time.

Piz also noticed the former couple standing separated from the group. He decided to change that. "I've got an idea. Let's play a game, I mean we've got all this booze."

Parker and Dick were in. Wallace and Mac capitulated after a little bit of coercion. Veronica stood frozen; there was no way she was drinking out of the keg, or out of the half dozen or so bottles of hard liquor that Dick had also brought. Logan noticed her rigid back and understood. She wouldn't admit her fear to the group, that ever since _that_ night she didn't drink out of containers she didn't open herself, a fear reinforced by her recent encounter with the Hearst rapist. Instead, she'd take the label of killjoy and whatever harsh words that came with. To save her that pain, he leaned in and whispered, "No one said you had to drink. Grab one of the Solos, turn your back, and pour in the soda. No one's the wiser."

The look of gratitude she gave him shone. She and Logan walked toward the keg, got cups, and filled them. The group sat down around the fire Dick had going. Veronica sat across from Wallace, Piz on her right, and Logan on her right. Dick was between Logan and Wallace, and Mac sat directly across from him, with Parker on her right. In a group such as theirs, it was the least awkward arrangement they were going to reach.

"Alright, Piznarski, you're the brains behind this. So what game are we playing?

Piz thought for a second, "Well I've heard of this one. You go around the circle, completing the phrase, 'Never have I ever' with something you've never done, and whoever has, gets to drink up."

Veronica and Logan had both looked at each other when the word never left Piz's mouth. When Veronica opened her mouth, Logan was expecting a firm no, but was surprised when he heard her agree. She'd then leaned toward him, whispering, "it's almost fitting, ya know? Here we are, on the beach, commemorating the past, celebrating the future; it's almost poetic that we play Lilly's game. Besides how bad can it be?" She looked at him for reassurance; he raised his eyebrows skeptically, "right?"

"Just remember, those are famous last words," but he allowed his hand to discreetly reach out and squeeze hers.

Parker spoke up then, having seen their hands touch, "Alright, I'm going first. Never have I ever…" She looked directly at Logan and Veronica, and her next words held an accusation, "cheated on someone."

Dick raised his glass, which was met by Logan's (thinking not of Veronica, as Parker had implied, but of Yolanda) and surprisingly by Veronica (who still felt extremely guilty for the two kisses she and Logan had shared when she'd technically been with Leo). They touched glasses and drank. The group then turned to Wallace.

"Um…" He was at a slight loss for words. He opted to go for light humor. He sent a wicked grin toward his best friend, "Never have I ever been arrested."

Veronica chuckled, thanking Wallace internally for lightening the mood. She held her cup out to touch Logan's, but stopped before they drank, "Is it a sip for each time in handcuffs, or each set of charges? And do unofficial questionings count?" She and Logan each took sips and Wallace joined in their laughing, as did Mac.

The group then turned to Dick, and Veronica could tell the jovial mood the group had just recovered was about to be lost. "Never have I ever seen somebody die." His tone was lighter then expected, but the look he gave to Veronica and Logan was a little dark. Again, their cups met in the middle.

Logan decided to speak up fast to recapture some of the light air that had just dissipated. "Never have I ever" and deciding Wallace was the easiest target, "been duct taped to a flag pole." Wallace was a little surprised by the attack, but laughed along with the rest of the Neptune gang. He realized what Logan was trying to do.

"Ah, the memories, but its my turn…Never have I ever…" and her eyes went to Mac, the only person besides Wallace who could take a hit. "Never have I ever cheated my classmates out of their hard-earned allowances" she had to hold up her hand to stop Logan from voicing his opinions about her taking cash for cases "to buy myself a car."

Mac shot Veronica an evil glare, but it was paired with a huge grin. Logan coughed and Veronica's only explanation was the words "purity test" at which Wallace and Logan laughed, and Dick looked slightly impressed.

"Okay, my turn…Never have I ever…gone skinny dipping" Wallace's eyes found Veronica, and he wasn't the least bit surprised to see her cup extend to the middle, joining everyone but Piz. Nor was he surprised to see her looking at Logan. And he didn't miss the "She'd be proud, good for you," that he whispered to her.

All eyes then went to Mac, who looked slightly unprepared. She decided the safest option was to take the hit herself "Uhh, never have I ever known my parents." And it wasn't till the words were out of her mouth that she realized how that sentence could be applied to the entire Neptune crowd. Sure she was secretly adopted, but Wallace's mother had lied about who his father was, Dick's father had been secretly embezzling for years, she couldn't even begin to cover the skeletons in Aaron Echoll's closet and Veronica's mother had been missing for over three years. The words applied to all of them, so she wasn't surprised when only Parker and Piz raised their glasses. "Oops."

"Don't even worry Mac. Parker's up" Wallace hadn't realized at the start of this game how easy it would be to offend someone. Especially considering most of this circle had grown up in Neptune, the capital of the Secret state.

Parker had only gotten more bitter as the game advanced. She didn't miss the fact that Veronica's cup went up every time Logan's did. Or that both had drank after her first comment. She was tired of Veronica, and knew the best way to get her. "Never have I ever _not _stopped a rape."

The silence that hit the group was heavy, but instead of seeing Veronica's cup in the middle alone, she saw Logan raise his arm without hesitation, only to be joined reluctantly by Dick's. Wallace, Piz and Mac shifted their gazes from Parker to the two boys. But Parker couldn't take her eyes off Veronica, who had yet to raise her cup. And Parker realized she wasn't going too. She was ready to leave the circle when Dick spoke up, "I'm sorry Ronnie. I really am. I found Beav…Cassidy's, well he had a journal thing on his computer. It took me a couple months to get up the nerve to read it."

"It's alright Dick. Let it go." She hoped he would listen. Not everyone at this circle was privy to her rape, and only one of them knew all the details. She's had no plans of ever telling Piz and after Cassidy had jumped, she couldn't bring herself to tell Mac. Parker only knew that it had happened, and after Graduation, Veronica had never found the right way to tell Wallace the truth. She felt Logan slip his hand into hers.

"No, it's not Veronica. What I did to you, what Cassidy did to you…its not all right."

"Dick, man, just forget it. Not now." Logan was trying to gauge Veronica's mood at the same time he was trying to silence his friend. But all he could see of Veronica was her profile, and all he could tell was that her hand was clutching his and there were tears welling in her eyes.

"What do you mean, Dick?" Mac's harsh whisper cut through the circle. Everyone had had their eyes trained on Dick, not truly understanding what he'd been saying. But Mac had latched onto Cassidy's name and the other words Dick was speaking were not making sense. "Veronica, what's he talking about? What did _Cassidy_ do?"

Veronica's head fell. She didn't have the strength to explain to Mac that the boy who had been unable to go all the way with her, had managed plenty well when he'd had the opportunity with Veronica, mainly because she'd been unconscious. Instead, she clung to Logan's hand and met Wallace's stare. "I wasn't not telling you, I swear. I found out on Graduation, we were all a little preoccupied. And then when I woke up, my dad was there and Aaron wasn't and you were in New York. I just wanted to forget about it."

Wallace nodded once. He wasn't mad. It had taken her almost a year to tell him about that night, and she hadn't done it till after she'd thought it was no longer rape. Finding out that it was in fact a rape, must have nearly destroyed her, add to that the pain of having thought Keith was dead, he was surprised she'd survived the night. And that probably wouldn't have happened if Logan hadn't been there. He could hardly hold the fact that she was protecting herself against her. It's what Veronica does. He then looked back and forth between Mac and Dick, one begging forgiveness, the other demanding an explanation. Parker had become silent, realizing she'd not only failed at making Veronica feel bad but succeeded in possibly destroying the whole group.

Dick had gotten up and crawled on his knees toward Veronica, the only problem was Logan in the way. "I'm sorry, Veronica. I am, I shouldn't have done it. I shouldn't have taken you to the guest room. I shouldn't have pushed him. Blame me. Don't blame Cassidy."

Logan was now using all his attention to try and shut Dick up, but Dick was past drunk, so it was easier said then done. "Dick, man, just stop. Please. She doesn't want to talk about this. Not tonight. Don't do this tonight."

Mac heard Logan shushing Dick, and it pissed her off. She stood up, "Damn it Logan, shut up. Somebody tell me what happened. I deserve answers."

"I wouldn't mind some myself." Piz's voice silenced everyone else's. It was completely calm, but held a note of intensity that Logan didn't like, as if he felt he deserved an explanation.

"Ronnie, please…" Dick continued talking to Veronica, begging for forgiveness, oblivious to the situation his words had caused. "It's all my fault, not his. I didn't mean for.."

Logan saw Veronica snap before he heard her voice, but he's pretty sure he's the only one who sees it. But no one misses her words. "Dick, just stop, okay? You don't know half of what happened that night. Don't rush to take _Beaver's _blame just yet. The GHB? The dose you gave to Madison, so that _you _could get some? She didn't drink it. She handed it off to me. That's why I couldn't stop him myself. And you are the one who took me to the guest room. Don't think you're blameless in it Dick, cause I don't. I may have gotten over your part in it for Logan's sake but that's it. And you can't take the blame for what _he_ did to me, because he did it. And he wasn't sorry. He told me that on the roof, before he asked me to jump." She took a breath and turned toward Mac, knowing her friend only wanted answers, but unable to keep the anger from her voice. "You want to know what Cassidy did Mac? After Dick here carried me into Shelley Pomroy's guest room, Cassidy raped me. That's right, just to prove to himself what a man he was. See he couldn't get any of the conscious girls at the party, so he took what he could get. And as if that wasn't bad enough, he didn't use a condom, thus ensuring public humiliation for me later. That's why you didn't see me at the funeral last year, that's why I didn't come to see you for two weeks; I couldn't stand to watch you mourn for the boy who stole so much from me." With that she stood and turned to leave the group, but she turned to Parker before she left, "Hope you're happy with yourself now? Are we even yet?" And she walked off.

Logan stood and took charge, not wanting to allow Veronica too much time alone. He turned to Parker first. "She didn't deserve that. And even if you think she did, they didn't." He pointed first to Dick, and then to Mac, both of whom had fallen back in the sand, looking shocked. "You think you can handle watching out for her now? When she recovers enough, tell her I'll talk to her about it later." He turned to Wallace who had stood when he had and moved next to him, "I know you want to be the one to go after her, but we both know that's a bad idea. With me, it's all history. She still feels she owes you an explanation."

"You're right. I have her keys. I'll drop the girls off at the dorm and take Dick back to the Grand."

"Can you stay with him? I don't know if you realize but it's been exactly one year since we got our diplomas." He saw Wallace connect the dots.

"Then maybe the Grand ain't the best place to go? I'll take him back to my dorm. When she's ready, you can stop by. Just remember, I leave day after tomorrow. I'd like a chance to see her before then." Logan nodded and turned away. Parker had her arm around Mac, who was crying, and Wallace had bent next to Dick, offering him another cup of beer. Logan took two steps down the beach when Piz stepped in front of him.

"Veronica was raped?" Logan did not have the time or patience to deal with Piz, but the disgust dripping off of his words caused Logan to stop. It also brought the attention of both Wallace and Parker. Both of whom now had their eyes trained on Piz.

"Yea. She was." He recognized the look in Piz's eyes. The look that said it was not okay to date a girl who was "dirty" like that. It took everything in him not to punch Piz in the face once again, "Does that make a difference to you?"

"Well… I mean…yea…doesn't it matter to you?" Piz stammered, shocked that that information didn't make Logan see Veronica differently. "I mean…she was…she was…How can you love someone after that?"

Logan's fist connected with Piz's jaw. "It only makes me love her more." He stepped over Piz and walked off to find Veronica. He heard Wallace tell Piz to find a place to sleep for the next two days, that he was no longer welcome in the dorm. And he heard the sound smack that Parker dealt Piz. But beyond that, his attention was trained on the beach, searching for the petite blonde who owned his heart. There were some rocks on the beach about a quarter of a mile down. He knew he'd find her there.

He found her sitting on the far side of the rocks, her slight figure hidden from the side he'd approached from, but he'd felt her presence just above him. He climbed the rocks and sat next to her. "You were right. That was a bad idea." She looked over toward him. "I shouldn't have done that."

"Hey now," He reached up and wiped a tear from her face. "Since when does Veronica Mars regret things? Besides, you did nothing wrong. Parker shouldn't have said that. And I should have been paying more attention to Dick, I should have smacked him when he first apologized. I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing, Logan. I forgave you for that night a long time ago. You've proven to me ten times over you're not that guy. I'm not even all that mad at Dick anymore. It was just being ousted, in front of Mac and Wallace, and Piz." She paused considering the ramifications of that one. "Damn it. I should go explain to him or something."

"Hey, don't worry about it. Wallace and I have decided he's not good enough for you. It's over." She searched his face, saw the anger in his eyes, and realized something must have happened. She didn't ask. "As for Wallace, I'm pretty sure he gets it. It's not exactly something you can write on a T-shirt. And Mac's just a little shocked. I think she didn't realize what today was til Dick said his name, and then to hear it in connection with the word rape? It's a lot to take in. I don't think she'll hate you for keeping it to yourself."

"It's been over three years, Logan? When does it get easier? When does what happened to me stop affecting me?" She sounded so defeated. He was tempted to lie to her, but he couldn't do it, because it would only hurt her later.

"It never does, Ronnie, never. What happened has helped shape who you are. It's always going to be there, because you can't undo who you are. And I wouldn't want you to for all the money in the world. That night helped you step out of Lilly's shadow, let you stand on your own. I hate that that's how it happened, but I wouldn't give up the amazing person you are. All you can do is learn to accept it, and find a guy who can hear your story, and only care that you were hurt, not how you were hurt."

The anger that flashed in her eyes showed he'd said too much. "Piz couldn't accept it?"

The anger in Logan's voice told her it didn't matter more than his words. "You don't have to see him again. I'll handle the break-up for you if you want."

"You can't do that Logan, it's my decision." Her attempt to fight him was halfhearted. She was quite fine with being done with Piz if he couldn't accept her.

"Not here it's not. I'm stepping in." His arm snaked around her. She leaned her head on his shoulder.

"Thank you, Logan. You're always here, even when I don't deserve it. You always keep me from breaking. Why?"

"Because you did it for me? Because you need it? Because I love you? Take your pick." He held her close, wanting to offer what comfort he could. Having been exposed like that, in front of her friends, was not something Veronica would have chosen.

"I do too, you know that right?" He shot her a quizzical look, unsure which reason she was agreeing with. "I love you. I tried not too. And then I tried to stop. And then I hated myself for not telling you two years ago when I realized it. It's not easy for me, to confide in someone, to trust someone. But with you, its there. I spend more time fighting the desire to run to you then I care to admit."

"Then stop fighting. Let's both stop fighting. I love you Veronica. I don't even want to try and stop. No one gets me, and I thought that's just how it was supposed to be. Then I knocked on your door, and after a year of torture, you helped me without a second thought. And that's how I know you're it. We live by the same rules, we always have."

"You're right. I'm sorry it's taken me this long to catch on. I love you, Logan." And she leaned forward, pressing her lips to his.

Their relationship was not going to be all downhill, but the again it never had been. And everyone knows, they don't write songs about the ones that come easy.


End file.
